


A Room For Squares

by tofu_sama90



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Art Museum AU, Barduil - Freeform, Fluff, Flustered Thranduil, M/M, Security Guard Bard, The Hobbit - Freeform, tumblr post prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 19:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4032043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tofu_sama90/pseuds/tofu_sama90
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From this tumblr post: http://northerntrash.tumblr.com/post/120037005803/myrishswamp-michacl-im-at-a-museum-right<br/>Someone said write an AU...</p><p>"I’m at a museum right now and I’m really bored so I was taking a selfie and this rly hot guard said “please do not take pictures of the artwork” and I apologized and explained I was only taking a selfie and he goes “I know” and winked"<br/>----<br/>Spending a nice Saturday at a hip art museum minding my own business but there's a hot security guard over there and I may or may not be staring.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Room For Squares

**Author's Note:**

> Hah I suck at titles.
> 
> Anyways, I am posting something after a long long long hiatus. And it seems forever ago since I last wrote anything really. I'll try to finish that one series I started many moons ago (if anyone remembers it, or has read it, or even liked it, or all of these things really)
> 
> So I hope you guys like this story, people. It kinda caught my attention and has been circling my head all night from that tumblr post so enjoy!

It was a rainy April morning and the large galleries were sparse for a Saturday. In a room full of paintings and sculptures, it was just a tall man with silver blonde hair cascading down his back and legs that seemed to go on for days. This sight seemed to be more breathtaking than the art to a certain security guard that was pacing the gallery that Saturday morning.

It wasn’t everyday that Thranduil had the opportunity to drop by local art museum. He peered up at the large paintings in wonder and in the midst of certain ones, he couldn’t help but let his lips part ever so slightly. He walked slowly from painting to painting, making sure to give each one its due respect before moving onto the next.

He liked the feeling of being alone in the galley. There were no yelling children running around, nor adults speaking too loudly for his liking. He was contempt with only the museum staff wandering about the large rooms. However, today a certain staff member caught his attention.

It was as Thranduil was passing onto the next gallery that the staff member in question caught his attention. Thranduil was thrust out of his artistic trance and his eyes snatched a glimpse of the tall security guard before him.

He gave a nod and tried to keep his head down, not to notice the man’s beautiful face, his broad shoulders, tanned skin, the slight mustache and facial hair that lined the sides of his jaw (his fingers tingled with the thought of feeling it), his wavy dark hair that Thranduil could just imagine running his hands through-

“Excuse me,” Thranduil let out a small mumble trying to keep his face hidden but he could feel the smirk that lined the man’s lips watching him pass.

Thranduil tried to keep his cool and decided to stare analytically at the Pollock piece in front of him. However, he could still feel the security guard’s presence in the room.

 _Keep your cool, Thranduil_. He told himself. _He’s just bored. It’s a Saturday morning. Slow business. Nothing to do. He’s not looking at you. He’s not looking at you._

Thranduil tried to peek again nonchalantly, instantly locking eyes with the attractive security guard. He jerked his head almost too quickly back to Pollock.

_Shit._

Thranduil felt a little warmer in the tweed coat he was wearing and his large scarf seemed to be suffocating him somehow.

 _Should I leave?_ Thranduil tormented himself. _No, why would I do that. Then he’d really know. I should move onto the next gallery. But he’s in the direction of the exit now. Damnitdamnitdamnitda-_

Thranduil’s phone gave a buzz in his pocket, waking him up from the panic attack.

Thranduil glanced down at the screen and noticed it was Haldir bothering him (on a Saturday no less). He somehow seemed to miss the vibration of missed call as well.

 

_Haldir: Where are you?! You were supposed to meet me at Starbucks this morning._

 

Thranduil looked at the time. Eleven o’clock _. Shit._

 

_Thranduil: I totally forgot. Sorry._

_Haldir: Well where are you then if you’re bailing on me it better be good._

_Thranduil: the Jocelyn_

_Haldir: You gotta be kidding me_

 

Frankly Thranduil didn’t feel very guilty for forgetting his their little coffee date. Besides he didn’t really take time out for himself, with taking care of Legolas. (Not mentioning the previous specimen) But it was a Saturday and it was tradition.

 

_Thranduil: Do you need proof or something?_

_Haldir: Consider it clemency and a deserved guilt trip_

 

Thranduil let out a heavy sigh and pulled out his phone ready to take a selfie in front of the Pollock piece he was still parked at. Just when he snapped a shot of his face, the security guard he was previously gawking at was next to him looking down at his phone with a stern face.

 _Damn, even his angry face was attractive_.

“No taking photos of the artwork.” He said with his eyebrows slightly furrowed.

Thranduil had done it. His heart gave a jump, seeing the attractive man so close to him. From here he could definitely get a better look at him. He had beautiful lines around his dark hazel eyes, and laughter lines around his mouth. He was certainly not laughing though and Thranduil wanted to thoroughly disappear and melt into a puddle on the spot.

Thranduil tried to make coherent sounds that were somewhat intelligible.

“Uh, I was trying to take a selfie, cause I bailed on my friend for coffee this morning and he’s upset I’m here and demanded a selfie and I’m sorry I didn’t mean to take it with the art right behind me. AndI’msorryfortakingapictureofthePollock.” Thranduil’s words came falling out of his mouth, getting quicker and quicker and he knew his face was the color of a tomato by now.

“I know.” The man’s face lightened and he could see a mischievous look in his eye and a smirk crossed his lips. “I wasn’t talking about the Pollock.”

_What?_

Thraduil’s face must have been pretty dumbstruck because the man let out a laugh and Thranduil desperately wanted to hear more of that laugh.

“You are very beautiful if I may add.” He replied to his previous comment. The man was damn bold. Thranduil thought he was going to pass out then and there.

“Um,” was really all he could get out before he blurted out a thank you.

“Anyways, I was noticing your fascination with the artwork,” The security guard’s words flowed so eloquently and effortlessly from his beautiful lips while Thranduil was still trying to comprehend what was happening.

_The beautiful man called **me** of all people beautiful. Does he even own a mirror?_

“Uh, yeah. I’ve come here ever since I was a kid, but I’m still quite taken back.” Thranduil finally said trying to put the words together as he somehow got lost in those hazel eyes (for a second time). “Um, if you caught me staring earlier I’m really sor-“

“Oh don’t be sorry,” Bard cut him short with a lovely shake of his head. “To be honest I was kinda looking at you too if you could tell. Oh my gosh, that was probably really creepy. Oh, wait, what am I saying-?“ He rubbed the back of his neck as he spoke, not giving Thranduil direct eye contact in order to contain his embarrassment. Thranduil thought the whole spectacle was pretty attractive to say the least.

“The name’s Bard. By the way.” He said quickly.

“Thranduil.”

“Thranduil,” Bard repeated to himself getting a feel for the odd pronunciation. Thranuil discovered how gorgeous it sounded rolling off Bard’s tongue and he wondered if he could make him say it again. He would most definitely love hearing him say it in certain circumstances where they were wearing less clothing.

Before Thranduil knew it, Bard was holding out a hand in greeting and he shook it feeling the roughness of his palm but also noting how warm it felt against his own pale hand.

They probably held that handshake longer than necessary. When the handshake it was over Thranduil ended up spending the rest of the afternoon and lunch with Bard as they walked through the galleries talking about the artwork.

Thranduil was impressed at how much Bard knew about the artwork. A warmth spread across Thranduil while he was with Bard. He settled into this comfort, embracing it like a warm summer breeze and didn’t want to let go. Bard looked just as passionate about the artworks as Thranduil was and for that Thranduil was thoroughly impressed.

More people filled the gallery but the two didn’t pay them any mind. They seemed too lost in their conversations to notice anything really. Thranduil learned about Bard and his three kids and Thranduil told Bard about Legolas and their little flirtation was showing signs something to be continued.

However, all good things must come to an end, and this time it was a call from Legolas that jolted Thranduil back into the real world. Bard patiently stood by with an all too knowing look and Thranduil looked at him apologetically.

“Yes. Yes. Mmmhm. I’ll be right there, my Little Leaf.” Thranduil chuckled at the teen’s protests as he hung up.

“I think this means good bye,” Bard said with a smile. Thranduil shot him a disappointed look before he finished with a “For now” and slipped him a piece of paper with what assumed to be his number.

“It was nice meeting you in such circumstances, Thranduil.”

“Same here.” Thranduil said taking in one last good look of the handsome man before him. His heart wanted to leap out of his chest or possibly make Legolas wait a little while longer. “It was nice meeting you, Bard.”

Just as he was about to turn and leave Bard pulled Thranduil close to him giving him a quick peck on the cheek, leaving Thranduil beet red. Bard shot him an earth-stopping wink and swiftly strode away from the damage he caused.

People were definitely looking at Thranduil standing stupidly like a teenage girl at the gallery exit. He never knew his heart could beat this fast with out going into cardiac arrest and it was only the cheek.

_What if it was something else more…devastating?_

The poor loser was falling fast, and he just met the guy. Thranduil shook his head as he quickly walked out of the museum and straight to his car whipping out his phone to see two new messages from Haldir.

_Haldir: You’ve been typing for 2 hours now._

Thranduil saw that the selfie he took earlier never sent. He sent the picture and typed up an excuse and then pulled out the piece of paper Bard had given him. There was a small note scrawled out in quirky handwriting with his number below it.

_I must say you fit in well in an art museum_

_-Bard_

**Author's Note:**

> The particular museum I visualized was my own local art museum (living in Omaha, NE that's the Jocelyn Art Museum) and lo and behold we actually have a Pollock piece!
> 
> Again, hope y'all enjoyed it.


End file.
